So, you want to know how to become a beautiful glass balustrade? It might sound like an impossible dream, but with our tips and instructions, it is totally achievable. Welcome to the first-ever transfiguration tutorial on this website!

Why would you ever want to use a spell to turn yourself into a balustrade? That’s a good question with a simple answer. Have you ever wanted to stop somebody walking somewhere? Know somebody who has a bad habit of sleepwalking off a roof? No need to beg and cry for them to wake up in time. All you have to do is cast our special spell: balustrade-ium transfigure-osa. You’ll instantly become a barrier to protect your loved ones. By the end of this tutorial, you’ll be turning into glass balustrades across Melbourne whenever you want.

This is a truly revolutionary spell, worthy of a quick class for all wizards, whether they are novices or experienced. All you have to do is raise your wand above your head and say the magic words, much like any other spell. This one, however, does have a tricky twist: After the first word, you must spin exactly ninety-seven degrees to your left. If you fail to do this, you’ll instead summon a tradie who offers you residential glazing. That’s great if you actually want that service, but not so good if you’re trying to prevent several ducks from crossing a busy street.

You’ll find yourself using this spell all the time. Why just the other day I used it to stop my children from getting too close to the oven. This is, without a doubt, one of the most useful spells you will ever learn. So follow our instructions carefully and have fun.

Tomorrow we’ll be sharing another spell tutorial, which will teach you how to conjure books, one page at a time. Perfect for reading on the go! We haven’t reached out to the wizarding community before, so hopefully, this content proves helpful. Let us know what you thought of it.