Month: August 2017

Vista is Only the Tip of the Iceberg

custom designed platformsYOU ARE TEARING ME APART, VISTA.

I thought I’d enjoy a desk job. Seems like a bad joke now, since it’s pretty much every problem you see in the sitcoms plus much more. People keep stealing my mugs AND my lunch. No one in this company understands a single thing about computers, to the point where sometimes I think they don’t even try to solve their problems, because they can just call the IT guys. And of course, every computer in the entire place is running on Vista, because that’s the perfect thing to round off my perfect purgatory.

Builders are just nicer people, I’ve decided. Painters are generally pretty decent as well. Sometimes I’m sitting at my computer desk, and I feel my fingers twitching to set up a set of mobile aluminium scaffolding, because there are few things more satisfying than setting up your own platform. Tapping away on computer keys just isn’t the same, even when you’re solving about ten problems per hour. They’re not satisfying problems, is the thing.

I’d even be willing to set aside my crippling fear of the sun. Honestly, towards the end when the boss was starting to get suspicious that I took every sunny day off, I think I was close to getting over it. There WAS that one day where I was nearly rumbled, but I took an umbrella atop the aluminium platform and said it was because I was peeling from sunburn and didn’t want to get burned again. It sounded good at the time.

Now I’m watching people down below from my window, setting up custom design platforms and having the best of times. The times I should be having. At the very least, I’m getting rid of Vista and bringing this country into the 20th century, because it really is tearing me apart.

-Mark

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Filming is Harder Than You Think

Dandenong pest exterminatorFirst day of shooting, and I’m already fed up with movie making. I’m not giving up- that’d be a terrible way to finish an entire lifetime of ambition- but wow, they don’t teach you about any of this stuff in film school. Maybe that’s because this is an amateur production and I don’t have a producer dealing with all the petty details. It’s just me, the director, dealing with all the garbage, all the actors and makeup people…and other stuff.

But really, so much stuff that they can’t teach you in uni, because it just HAPPENS. We were supposed to be filming in an abandoned hay barn, but it turned out that the place was infested with termites. Had to call up the Dandenong based termite control place for a quote, then they said that the place wasn’t stable because of the termite damage. I had to then make the decision of whether to reschedule- again- or proceed and hope the whole thing didn’t just come down on our heads. In the end, I went for a combination of both. Had to switch the screenplay around so the girl playing Maya didn’t spend any time on the upper balcony, but instead came in through the side. Ruined some of the shot since she was supposed to be silhouetted in the sunlight streaming in through the upper window…but the alternative was her crashing through the floorboards, breaking a leg and never working with me again. Then the clouds came over the sun and our lighting was ruined anyway. The catering company got the wrong day. And then my lead had to act through severe mould allergies, so now every shot makes him look like he’s about to burst into tears.

Nightmare. It cannot be like this all the time, I’m sure. Though the owner of the barn should thank us for setting the Dandenong pest control people on the place before it was eaten away. Had a feeling something was wrong from our initial scouting.

-Miles

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Ladders: A Step-by-Step Guide

custom laddersSometimes, it’s good to go over the basics. Think you know how to cook rice? You’d be surprised by how many people have taken our ten-week rice cooking course and discovered that they’d been doing it wrong this whole time!

Or perhaps you THINK you know how to make a bed. As our twelve-week course will show you, making a bed is a thousand-year-old art with a thousand subtleties. Learn how the ancients developed the technique. Impress your family and friends. Become the ultimate bed-making master!

These courses and more are currently available in our vast selection. Popular this month is a short, four-week course in ladder assembly and climbing. There are so many different types of ladder that a layman can be confused whilst doing the simplest job. The basics of the course cover the many types of ladder, from basic wooden structures to mobile aluminium scaffolding. We then walk people through the process of climbing a ladder, from putting the first foot on the first rung, all the way through to such developments as stepping on a rung for the fifth time. You may think it’s simple…but what do you then do with your hands?? Do you have the coordination to operate them at the same time as your feet? It’s not as easy as you think.

For our advanced class, students will go onto setting up basic ladder-like structures, placing them against the wall, and making sure that users are not going to plummet downwards to potential injury. Our latest ladder course has received great reviews, with many asking it to be extended into a six-month course that includes the basics of using a step-ladder, or even something more extreme like custom ladders.

This and more awaits you if you choose one of our great courses. Meet new friends, learn some vital skills, and improve yourself today!

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