YOU ARE TEARING ME APART, VISTA.

I thought I’d enjoy a desk job. Seems like a bad joke now, since it’s pretty much every problem you see in the sitcoms plus much more. People keep stealing my mugs AND my lunch. No one in this company understands a single thing about computers, to the point where sometimes I think they don’t even try to solve their problems, because they can just call the IT guys. And of course, every computer in the entire place is running on Vista, because that’s the perfect thing to round off my perfect purgatory.

Builders are just nicer people, I’ve decided. Painters are generally pretty decent as well. Sometimes I’m sitting at my computer desk, and I feel my fingers twitching to set up a set of mobile aluminium scaffolding, because there are few things more satisfying than setting up your own platform. Tapping away on computer keys just isn’t the same, even when you’re solving about ten problems per hour. They’re not satisfying problems, is the thing.

I’d even be willing to set aside my crippling fear of the sun. Honestly, towards the end when the boss was starting to get suspicious that I took every sunny day off, I think I was close to getting over it. There WAS that one day where I was nearly rumbled, but I took an umbrella atop the aluminium platform and said it was because I was peeling from sunburn and didn’t want to get burned again. It sounded good at the time.

Now I’m watching people down below from my window, setting up custom design platforms and having the best of times. The times I should be having. At the very least, I’m getting rid of Vista and bringing this country into the 20th century, because it really is tearing me apart.

-Mark