Category: Property

Flight, Aiding in Property Management

property advocateDo you think if people could fly, everybody would commute that way? I guess it would depend on the speed of the flight, and the relative stamina expended. If you could only fly at the speed of walking, and you get puffed if you flew at running pace for a kilometre or so, then it’d basically just be life as per usual except nobody ever has to ask to get things down from a high shelf.

Alright, so we’ll say it’s superhero-type flight, where it doesn’t seem to tire them and they’re quite swift. I think the oil crisis would vanish, and everyone’s commutes would be a lot more fun. In the summer, anyway.

There’s a reason I’m thinking of this, and that is because of buyers advocates. Yep…buyers advocates operating in Melbourne, and I guess elsewhere, but Melbourne is where I live so yeah. We recently sought them out because we’re totally clueless and don’t want to buy something awful that’s going to be a financial burden for the rest of our lives. I, personally, would like something high up. A nice apartment in the city, with some lovely views. But we went to see one such place after it was advertised, and it was certainly a long way up. There was a lift, of course. And also a concierge. But I’m just thinking, how does one go window shopping for an apartment? You’d have to be able to fly. And then if you could fly, then your commute would simply be opening the window and you’re off, into the sky! It’d almost be a waste if you could fly and you lived in the ground floor.

And then you’d see property advocate professionals in Melbourne doing more or less the same thing from the windows of apartments all around the city, because obviously that’s going to be a vital part of their home inspection duties: to check of the windows are suitable for a flying commute. That’s how I’d do it, anyway…


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Nosy Mother Sniffs Out Property Sales

Buyers AdvocatesI had a good old yarn on the phone with my mother this morning. The latest news on her end is that Mr. Beansley over the road is looking to selling his house off-market. My mother, naturally, is convinced that he must be up to no good, although I did my best to explain that there are plenty of valid reasons for doing this. Privacy, less stress, less preparation needed on the house to get it sale-ready, no advertising costs… there are lots of possibilities.

That Mr. Beansley is a mysterious fellow, to be sure, and I can sort of see where mum’s getting her suspicions from. But I do think she could afford to give the guy the benefit of the doubt. I mean, she’s the one who’s always secretly having the neighbour’s houses valued by one of her chums from the gym who happens to be a real estate agent.

Mum even went so far as to ask me if I could hire a buyers agent on her behalf, so that she could spy on the matter. I told her I’m not doing that, but she wouldn’t let up about it. “Don’t forget to look up the number of Susan’s buyers advocacy service in east Melbourne,” she said firmly, before hanging up the phone. Sigh. Even if I was prepared to do that, I can’t even begin to fathom who Susan is.

I reckon Mr. Beansley is on the far end of the shy side, and would like for the sale to slip under the radar, garnering as little buzz and attention as possible. My mother, on the end of the spectrum, wouldn’t settle for anything less than the most colourful public auction the inner east has ever seen. She is incapable of understanding how anyone could want anything other than to be the centre of attention at all times.

Mum claims she’s concerned with maintaining property values in the street, but I think she’s concerned with sticking her nose in other people’s business. Perhaps I should hire a buyers agent to professionally advise her of this.

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