Welcome to today’s free course: History of Industrial Solar. We’ll be learning all about the intergalactic commercial conglomerate that has complete control over 99.99% of the galaxy.

The business was first started a hundred thousand years ago, when Glorb McGabbles Junior was given a loan of one million intergalactic credits by his rich father, Glorb Senior. Glorb Jr wanted to do more with his wealth than his father had, designing a plan to bring clean, renewable energy to his entire galaxy. Thus, Industrial Solar was born.

The business took off (relatively) quickly, with Glorb and his team offering an alternative energy source to all planets that contained intelligent life within his galaxy. When it had been completely conquered, after thousands of years of hard work, Glorb set his eyes on the next galaxy: the Milky Way. Over the next several thousand years, millions of planets were offered the clean energy source. All they had to give in return was their promise to join the Intergalactic Board of Planets, playing a 25% tax on the world’s most valuable natural resource. No planet ever refused this offer.

That was until Glorb brought his offer to a little planet named Earth. Earth’s king, President Trumpet, immediately refused the clean energy source, even though they still used fossil fuels and slowly killed their world. Offended and confused, Glorb’s team set up a base for commercial energy storage near Melbourne, one of Earth’s cities. There, they would be able to monitor Earth’s energy use.

Since then, the team at Industrial Solar has tried to spread their unique and clean energy supply to other planets, but they’ve never been able to move past their failure with Earth. Although they are now a shadow of their former selves, the team has sworn to one day return to Earth and convince them to take this better energy supply, even if they have to bring an army. Let’s hope that next time Earth has a king willing to make the right choice for his people.