Hi, I’m Space Wizard and welcome to my Teddy Talk. So, you want to learn about office design? You’ve come to the right place. I was a contestant on the second season of Australia’s Next Top Office, which was unfortunately cancelled halfway through production. Nonetheless, I learned plenty about designing the best office possible, which I will now pass onto you.

There’s one important thing to know when it comes to office space fitouts. Melbourne residents have a totally different taste to people living in Sydney or New York. Basically, what I’m saying is that the office you make will be different depending on its location. I’ve found that people in Melbourne like darker colours, in general. That might be totally wrong, though. I’m not exactly an expert in office design. Truthfully, I’m only here to promote the finale of Next Top Office. That’s right! The contestants are getting back together for one final episode, which will knock your socks off. We’ll be streaming live on the internet, so tune in to find out what happens, and who wins Charity. We’re not sure what that is, but we’ll find out.

I’m sorry that I deceived you into thinking this was going to provide you with useful office design ideas, Melbourne viewers. It’s not. This is just a publicity stunt because we need as many people to watch as possible. That’s the only way for us to defeat my clone, Evil Space Wizard. Although, perhaps we should be calling him Sewer Wizard since he was made in the sewers of Melbourne. I was born in space, so it makes sense that I would be Space Wizard. But my evil clone wasn’t created there, so I don’t know why we’ve been calling him Evil Space Wizard. Anyway, make sure you watch our live stream to see who defeats Sewer Wizard! The fate of the city, and possibly the world, is literally at stake here.

– Space Wizard