Bernard is really losing the plot. No, really. He actually believes that his so-called ‘chalking boots’ are going to take off, and be a commercial hit. More to the point, he wants to pour the entirety of his savings into developing the design. Considering the current state of the design, which is essentially a pair of gumboots with chalk stubs blue-tacked onto the soles, it’s clear that there’s a long road ahead in getting the design market-ready. I’m sure you understand my reservations.

Bernard is so excited about it, though. I don’t want to be the one to tell him that nobody in their right mind will want this product. What is the market for them? I’m assuming it’s at the meeting point of toys, apparel and novelty items, which is fair enough, but that’s a pretty tight niche and I just don’t think this product will cut it – certainly not in its current state.

I think he should move onto something more useful, like a boot that controls fungal toenail infections. Melbourne isn’t short of foot-bourne fungi, yet it is short of easy solutions to the problem that can be worked effortlessly into one’s everyday routine. Imagine a pair of rubber boots that actually makes your feet healthier. Podiatrists could sell them, alongside the Orthaheel sandals and Dr. Comfort thongs. The line could be called Toe-tally Fungi-Free.

What if these boots could go a step further, and assist with other maladies of the feet such as corns and callouses, ingrown nails, plantar fasciitis? Imagine that! It could be a whole entire podiatry clinic, all in the form of a boot. Now that would be something worth investing in! It could revolutionise foot care from the inside out!

I mean, sure – developing the design might take some doing. We’d need to consult with podiatrists, and manufacturers of biomedical technologies. I’m sure they could find a way to bridge the gap between the idea and the reality – I have no idea how, but where there’s a will, there’s a way.